The Thing I’ll Write About 2020
photo by James Wainscoat via Unsplash[Opening paragraph with platitudes about what a crazy time we’re living in, how do we come back from this, holy crap the world is burning, will my hair ever stop falling out.]
[Supporting paragraphs about the constant droning fear, the boxed wine is running low, I still haven’t made sourdough, has fill in the blank been this racist the whole time, remember when we wore eyeliner, remember when our President knew things, what does a bra feel like, how do I make the future better for my kids, how do I make the future better for other people’s kids, do my egg reserves know they need to chill for a sec, where else can I donate, are fashion masks the ultimate dystopian symbol, I’m so tired, it’s too late in the game to be tired, should I still be concerned about murder hornets, am I allergic to bees because I’ve never been stung so I have no idea, actually, oh god, what if I’m allergic to bees, why is the unemployment site down again, am I drinking enough water, how many pretzel thins are too many pretzel thins, is that why I’m so thirsty, what will the world look like tomorrow?]
[Concluding paragraph to assure the reader that we’ll get through this, the only way out is through, the only constant is change, the only good seltzer is Polar, the only future is the one we make, the one we demand, the one we can’t live without.]
[Then I’ll return to my couch, squeeze the last few drops of wine from the bag-in-a-box, satisfied I’ve accurately captured the frantic, unceasing narrative loop that plays in my head while I try to count my blessings.]
